What I learned today...

WORD

Women of REAL Desire, Determination, Discipline & DO IT.

Lord, we are in your hands. Let your will be done. 

1 Peter 1:22-25

Lesson of this past season

²² Stop trusting other people to save you. Do not think too highly of them; they are only humans who have not stopped breathing yet.

- Isaiah 2

May this be what my heart is saying

“song of praise that flows from those you have redeemed….words are not enough to tell you of our love so listen to our hearts”

Flashback

My freshman year, just around this time of the year i remember seeing a skit that had to do with today’s brp. 

8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, ² but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. ³ As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

⁴ “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

⁶ They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. ⁷ They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” ⁸ Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

⁹ When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. ¹⁰ Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

¹¹ “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.

The moment I saw the words typed on that screen on the tcenter reading “neither do I. Go and sin no more.” I could see God’s grace just blanketing over every single person in the sanctuary that day. Everyone’s head went down into a time of response and I could sense a heart of gratitude and reflection. Everyone seemed to know exactly what sins they have committed or were committing and seemed to enter this time of understanding the cost of the cross once more. On days like today where I realize how much I don’t deserve what I have and the guilt that comes sometimes with my wrongdoings, I am thankful for Him in my life. I wish that these next two weeks leading up to easter will be (day by day) a time where I can remember Him. 

Mark 7:14-23

What defiles a person.

Not what goes into someone but more of what comes out. For what comes out shows the condition of my heart. 

Are my words, my actions, the very things that represent my heart glorifying God?

Food for thought.

Year of discoveries- 2012

Whew… It’s been a while since I posted here. Maybe because I’m getting better at journaling in my non virtual, fancy, inspiring new friend I purchased for the closing of 2012 and start to 2013.

2012 was definitely a refining one. Should I almost say that it was like a dry scab ready to be picked at because it was half dangling without knowing that there was still blood underneath. Not in a bad way but almost like it was supposed to be picked so that I would learn that there was more healing to be done. Just because its a scab doesn’t mean it’s completely healed

Thanks to that there are some things where I can definitely say by the grace of God I’m learning to let go. Whether that’s overcoming my need to please others or learning to be completely honest, I’m learning more and more what it means to boast in my weaknesses :) As For the new things that have been uncovered, once again by the grace of God, I’m learning that i still have a long way to go. My pride, circumstantial faith, etc. This journey will probably never end but in the midst of all that I’m learning to find a peace in Emmanuel.

Romans 8:31-32 and the whole chapter talks about being more than conquerers because we have Christ Jesus on our side. I’m currently reading a book called Radical by David Platt with our church’s life group ministry. Something that I nonchalantly picked up has happened to be one of the most eye opening reads. This book talks about how real the gospel message is and how that should urge us to live radical lives. 2012 has been a lot about seeing grace from another lens. A grace that should shake some part inside of us and never make us the same. Radical talks about how Jesus was at gethsemane. It wasn’t just His physical crucifixion that burdened Him but it was the sin of all souls that was about to be unleashed upon Jesus’ soul. 

Now that’s a statement that I can’t just rub off easily. The sin of all souls, that weight, that burden must have been……painful. I probably won’t ever completely understand how that felt, nor will any of us. But that’s why we can go to heaven and give Jesus a big smile right? Hopefully in 2013, that will be what drives me to persevere, to be faithful, to love, and all that jazz. 

2012 was quite a ride. A difficult and arduous one with a lot of major revealing of sins: insecurities, pride, lack of love. But even then. I’m thankful, because not only has he affirmed me with His love in the midst of all that but FOREVER….

He has deemed me to be more than a conquerer. 

Cheers to 2013! May He be glorified! 

Saying goodbye to one more peel

I wear my glasses for 3 reasons, when I go to the movies, for sermons or important events when I need to take notes, and when my eyes are swollen :/. This morning is that kind of day, a couple hours with my glasses are much needed.

Yes last night was one of those vulnerable moments. I don’t have much regrets in life except for one thing. My grandparents. I wish I was mature enough back then to know that my mindset of “they will always be here for me” was wrong. I’ve been so caught up in life that I’ve lost perspective of one of the most important things in my life

I recently read through my cousins post that my grandma is in the hospital again due to pneumonia. She’s actually been in a coma on top of that for about 3 years. My cousins post read “am I living my life right?” That made me think a lot. We were the two granddaughters that my grandma practically raised. While our parents were at work, she was the one who filled up that space in my heart. The women who taught me how important it was to enjoy every blessing God has given me.

It all seemed like a typical fairytale until things happened and before I knew it she was laying in the hospital bed. I made one promise “that I would buy her a meal when I was old enough, when I was working. Now that time has come but she is slowly deteriorating.

Being the person who numbs, I’ve been waiting for that right moment to break down. Sad isn’t it? Work, nope. Social settings, nope. Not on the streets, nope. So I chose the fishbowl in front of my disciple. It had been a long time since someone had asked me how I was doing. Then it was when I returned to my apt. I couldn’t hold it in anymore so I let loose. Let loose a week of tears.

I must pray, I must honestly tell my grandma how much I love her and how thankful I am. I must learn to be more honest with my emotions, and most of all, I just trust Him

Therefore I have promise never to think that again. No one is always going to be there. I need to live out my belief to enjoy every moment for you may only get it once.

Morning thoughts

The weather has been a good indicator to how I’ve been doing, but I’m glad there is always a warm place to dwell in. Although at times it may be a little chilly and gloomy, my focus is on understanding and believing that when the day is done that I have a place to go to find comfort and peace so i can recharge for the next day to come. Soon enough I believe that warmth will each my heart, and hopefully reach that maturity.

I like these moments before classes start, sipping on some coffee to keep me awake and being able to quickly reflect on the day to come.

On another note, I’ve picked up journaling again and hopefully this time the adventures of Andrea on paper would be more consistent. My theme this year is honest thoughts so we shall see how that goes

Gotta keep it real