What I learned today...

Women of REAL Desire, Determination, Discipline & DO IT.

Lord, we are in your hands. Let your will be done. 

1 Peter 1:22-25

²² Stop trusting other people to save you. Do not think too highly of them; they are only humans who have not stopped breathing yet.

- Isaiah 2

“song of praise that flows from those you have redeemed….words are not enough to tell you of our love so listen to our hearts”

My freshman year, just around this time of the year i remember seeing a skit that had to do with today’s brp. 

8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, ² but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. ³ As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

⁴ “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

⁶ They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. ⁷ They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” ⁸ Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

⁹ When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. ¹⁰ Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

¹¹ “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.

The moment I saw the words typed on that screen on the tcenter reading “neither do I. Go and sin no more.” I could see God’s grace just blanketing over every single person in the sanctuary that day. Everyone’s head went down into a time of response and I could sense a heart of gratitude and reflection. Everyone seemed to know exactly what sins they have committed or were committing and seemed to enter this time of understanding the cost of the cross once more. On days like today where I realize how much I don’t deserve what I have and the guilt that comes sometimes with my wrongdoings, I am thankful for Him in my life. I wish that these next two weeks leading up to easter will be (day by day) a time where I can remember Him. 

What defiles a person.

Not what goes into someone but more of what comes out. For what comes out shows the condition of my heart. 

Are my words, my actions, the very things that represent my heart glorifying God?

Food for thought.

Whew… It’s been a while since I posted here. Maybe because I’m getting better at journaling in my non virtual, fancy, inspiring new friend I purchased for the closing of 2012 and start to 2013.

2012 was definitely a refining one. Should I almost say that it was like a dry scab ready to be picked at because it was half dangling without knowing that there was still blood underneath. Not in a bad way but almost like it was supposed to be picked so that I would learn that there was more healing to be done. Just because its a scab doesn’t mean it’s completely healed

Thanks to that there are some things where I can definitely say by the grace of God I’m learning to let go. Whether that’s overcoming my need to please others or learning to be completely honest, I’m learning more and more what it means to boast in my weaknesses :) As For the new things that have been uncovered, once again by the grace of God, I’m learning that i still have a long way to go. My pride, circumstantial faith, etc. This journey will probably never end but in the midst of all that I’m learning to find a peace in Emmanuel.

Romans 8:31-32 and the whole chapter talks about being more than conquerers because we have Christ Jesus on our side. I’m currently reading a book called Radical by David Platt with our church’s life group ministry. Something that I nonchalantly picked up has happened to be one of the most eye opening reads. This book talks about how real the gospel message is and how that should urge us to live radical lives. 2012 has been a lot about seeing grace from another lens. A grace that should shake some part inside of us and never make us the same. Radical talks about how Jesus was at gethsemane. It wasn’t just His physical crucifixion that burdened Him but it was the sin of all souls that was about to be unleashed upon Jesus’ soul. 

Now that’s a statement that I can’t just rub off easily. The sin of all souls, that weight, that burden must have been……painful. I probably won’t ever completely understand how that felt, nor will any of us. But that’s why we can go to heaven and give Jesus a big smile right? Hopefully in 2013, that will be what drives me to persevere, to be faithful, to love, and all that jazz. 

2012 was quite a ride. A difficult and arduous one with a lot of major revealing of sins: insecurities, pride, lack of love. But even then. I’m thankful, because not only has he affirmed me with His love in the midst of all that but FOREVER….

He has deemed me to be more than a conquerer. 

Cheers to 2013! May He be glorified! 

I wear my glasses for 3 reasons, when I go to the movies, for sermons or important events when I need to take notes, and when my eyes are swollen :/. This morning is that kind of day, a couple hours with my glasses are much needed.

Yes last night was one of those vulnerable moments. I don’t have much regrets in life except for one thing. My grandparents. I wish I was mature enough back then to know that my mindset of “they will always be here for me” was wrong. I’ve been so caught up in life that I’ve lost perspective of one of the most important things in my life

I recently read through my cousins post that my grandma is in the hospital again due to pneumonia. She’s actually been in a coma on top of that for about 3 years. My cousins post read “am I living my life right?” That made me think a lot. We were the two granddaughters that my grandma practically raised. While our parents were at work, she was the one who filled up that space in my heart. The women who taught me how important it was to enjoy every blessing God has given me.

It all seemed like a typical fairytale until things happened and before I knew it she was laying in the hospital bed. I made one promise “that I would buy her a meal when I was old enough, when I was working. Now that time has come but she is slowly deteriorating.

Being the person who numbs, I’ve been waiting for that right moment to break down. Sad isn’t it? Work, nope. Social settings, nope. Not on the streets, nope. So I chose the fishbowl in front of my disciple. It had been a long time since someone had asked me how I was doing. Then it was when I returned to my apt. I couldn’t hold it in anymore so I let loose. Let loose a week of tears.

I must pray, I must honestly tell my grandma how much I love her and how thankful I am. I must learn to be more honest with my emotions, and most of all, I just trust Him

Therefore I have promise never to think that again. No one is always going to be there. I need to live out my belief to enjoy every moment for you may only get it once.

The weather has been a good indicator to how I’ve been doing, but I’m glad there is always a warm place to dwell in. Although at times it may be a little chilly and gloomy, my focus is on understanding and believing that when the day is done that I have a place to go to find comfort and peace so i can recharge for the next day to come. Soon enough I believe that warmth will each my heart, and hopefully reach that maturity.

I like these moments before classes start, sipping on some coffee to keep me awake and being able to quickly reflect on the day to come.

On another note, I’ve picked up journaling again and hopefully this time the adventures of Andrea on paper would be more consistent. My theme this year is honest thoughts so we shall see how that goes

Gotta keep it real

Life is hard. Kind of funny when you’ve only lived a little past 2 decades. But I’m learning that it’s not supposed to be easy. When the word is constantly hinting to us that we need to remain strong, to be rooted, to not be tossed back and forth, to renew our minds, and etc. God knew/knows it’s not easy and therefore He is always there to give us encouragement. 

The Whole Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.¹² For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.¹³ Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.¹⁴ Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,¹⁵ and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.¹⁶ In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts ofthe evil one;¹⁷ and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,¹⁸ praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,¹⁹ and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. - Ephesians 6

Let’s not forget that He has already defeated.

it has already been done

Much needed. 

Romans 8

English Standard Version (ESV)

Life in the Spirit

8 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.^[a] 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you^[b] free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,^[c] he condemned sin in the flesh,⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. ⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds onthe things of the Spirit. ⁶ For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.⁸ Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

⁹ You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. ¹¹ If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus^[d] from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

Heirs with Christ

¹² So then, brothers,^[e] we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. ¹⁴ For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons^[f] of God. ¹⁵ For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, ¹⁷ and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

Future Glory

¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present timeare not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

²⁶ Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. ²⁷ And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because^[g] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,^[h] for those who are called according to his purpose.²⁹ For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰ And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be^[i] against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ³³ Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.^[j] 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶ As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I feel like there are two things that I will need to rely on this upcoming season

1) The Gospel Message

2) The Holy Spirit

Leggo

His faithfulness will look very different from what I perceive to be faithful. I need to constantly be reminding myself of that truth. Looking at the Bleeding woman today through our church’s brp (Mark 5). I thought through a lot of what faithfulness and faith was. This woman was bleeding for 12 years. In today’s time that’s the same thing as being unemployed for 12 years, having some sort of health injury for 12 years, etc. But what set this woman apart from all those other people in the crowd who touched Him? Faith. This week/next week when all the decisions will be made. My life can be completely different in a couple of days. But through that I know that one thing will carry me through. God’s love and faith. 

It’s so cliche but there is a reason that its cliche.

Have you ever thought about that?

Our all-girl life group studied the life of Rahab today. The take away I had as I was preparing for the bible study was Hebrews 11:31. I could not shake off the fact that she was known for being a women of faith. Her significance was in being a women of faith not in being you know, the things that all girls want to be. Therefore, God was able to redeem her from a nothing to someone who was a part of His line just because of her FAITH. 

 ⁶ And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. - hebrews 11

I always thought I knew what it meant to have faith. Not until recently. I’m learning the lack of faith I have day to day when it comes to COMPLETELY trusting that the Lord is my provider, the one who knows me and can search me. But I want that faith. I want that mustard seed planted deeply into my heart so that one day I will be that tree that I keep claiming myself to be (jeremiah 17:8). But the beauty of wanting it is…i want my own mustard seed. Not the same ones that are handed out at revivals that we all plant but something that is personal between God and me. Not something (or hopefully not) selfish but you know something that no one can shake up because its rooted so deeply in His word and through the times that I have with Him

So I’ve actually been experimenting at it. I’ve been just sitting there for hour intervals trying to listen to God, trying to think through different things that God may have on His heart, not mine. It’s been kind of tricky :D But if it was easy, then it wouldn’t be an adventure rights?

Also seeing how it’s been great speaking truth into other people’s lives. Telling a nonchristian that those who aren’t saved are going to Hell? Not easy to say but learning how THE TRUTH NEVER CHANGES. no matter how many times you want to justify in your mind, the truth is the truth, so say it! Of course it has to be out of love ;) 

What is faith? Thought you would be curious! I really like this ESV version that an older sister showed me recently! 

 1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.² For by it the people of old received their commendation - hebrews 11

So the next time you reward someone, make sure it’s because they took a leap in doing something that was driven by faith, not for their good deeds! 

¹¹ For as the soil makes the sprout come up
    and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness 
    and praise spring up before all nations. - Isaiah 61

9 Jesus stepped into a boat, crossed over and came to his own town. ² Some men brought to him a paralyzed man, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the man, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven - Matthew 9

¹⁶ “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse.¹⁷ Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” - Matthew 9

Truth. 

This is my prayer in the desert

When all that’s within me feels dry

This is my prayer in my hunger and need

My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here 

This is my prayer in the battle 

When triumph is still on it’s way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I’ll stand

All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship (x4)

This is my prayer in the harvest

When favour and providence flow

I know I’m filled to be emptied again

The seed I’ve received I will sow

amen 

I originally had a blog post in my draft box that read “Please don’t stop the music” I realized that line was being spoken to myself. I keep interrupting God in the middle of this beautiful piece that He is composing. 

God when?

Father How?

Which one? 

Our Maker is in the process of making a beautiful piece for me but I am so caught up in which part I’ll be able to hear and which part will be for others to listen to. If He is the chosen composer, can’t I just believe that He will not only do His best, but that He will make it perfect? 

 “Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker, 
    those who are nothing but potsherds 
    among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter, 
    ‘What are you making?’ 
Does your work say,
    ‘The potter has no hands’? 
¹⁰ Woe to the one who says to a father,
    ‘What have you begotten?’
or to a mother,
    ‘What have you brought to birth?’

¹¹ “This is what the Lord says—
    the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: 
Concerning things to come,
    do you question me about my children,
    or give me orders about the work of my hands? 
¹² It is I who made the earth 
    and created mankind on it.
My own hands stretched out the heavens; 
    I marshaled their starry hosts. 
¹³ I will raise up Cyrus^[b] in my righteousness:
    I will make all his ways straight. 
He will rebuild my city 
    and set my exiles free,
but not for a price or reward, 
    says the Lord Almighty.” -Isaiah 45

I have been partaking in a long journey called “adulthood” It’s a little rough around the edges right now because I haven’t gotten into the hang of what this is supposed to look like but that’s exactly what God planned. He wanted the intro to be a awkward compilation of the orchestra just freestyle-ing. Who knows what’s next? I guess the beauty of it is that I’m not supposed to know.

Everything in my life is kind of up in the air right now. Awkward, a bit iffy should i say? But I know ONE THING . That He is here with me and for that I’m thankful. I’m thankful that He still chooses to stay by my side wherever I go, whatever I do, whichever state I’m in. Whew. 

The composer never leaves His piece until it’s complete. 

So whichever state you guys are in right now, don’t give up :) Because He will never give up on you. 

good day!